To be wanted fully, loudly and unapologetically

I met Zulu just before varsity closed for the semester break. It was during one of the parties my friends and I regularly hosted after exams.

He did not particularly stand out at the party. In fact, I only came to learn of his name when the gathering ended and we all parted ways. As it turns out, we stayed at the same school residential place. So naturally we (along with two other party goers) took the same uber to res. We got to chatting and, as would be expected, the world – the uber driver and other riders included – disappeared. We were the only people in existence.

What words where uttered, I cannot recall, because more important was the simultaneous vulnerability and security I felt at that moment. Here was a man, a stranger but a minute before, and he captivated me, shook me, had me awestruck. (It may be a pertinent time to share this – when I fall in love, I fall easy, I fall hard and I fall fast. It is my virtue and my vice)

I fell for his easy-going vibe, his worldliness, his command of my attention, and, his finely-chiseled, fiercely-inked biceps. He came into my life at exactly the right time, when I didn’t even know I needed him. I had just been fighting demons in my previous chapter, and he gave of himself fully, generously, selflessly and without caution, to me*

*this excerpt was written close to two years ago. It serves to remind me just how beautiful my short experiences with romantic love have always been. I love that the people I allowed in my life have left nothing but great vibes in my heart, and keep me excited for the future. For a love that is full, loud, open, and unapologetic. My love life has truly been tumultuous. However, I appreciate all my past experiences, for what they were, what they taught and what they gave. I will always go back to this. To this excerpt, to this moment, to this feeling, and realize that I have been wanted, fully and unapologetically, and indeed deserve a love that is full and loud and unapologetic.

Published by blaqandgoldblog

Life seen through a black girl's lens

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