And I’ll tell you who you are: Dex
In my previous post I made mention of the old adage that you are who you spend your most time with. I engaged my travel companion, confidante and the Cristina to my Meredith, Keletso, in conversation about work, life and friendship.
In this here post, I introduce my best friend, my fellow creative weirdo, my biggest hype-man, the godfather to my future children, Dex, the Black Hokage.
Who are you?
Dex, the Black Hokage. A Mafikeng [North West province] product studying Accounting in Bloemfontein [Free State province]. I’m a hip-hop junkie, Eminem stan, introvert (still learning how to function in social settings), lover of the wines and Thato’s boyfriend. I’m a sucker for anime and a writer at heart. I’m currently learning as much as I can about mental health; I seek to be a mental health activist, providing a platform for those who have had relatable experiences to mine regarding anxiety, OCD, depression and the likes. All about good vibes and painting smiles wherever I go.
When and how did we meet/become friends?
When we met? 2012 [first year of varsity]
How we met? Coffee ☕
How we became friends? We were placed in the same Sociology tutorial group. Our friendship was actually cemented by a rather fruitful exchange (one you’ve never let me forget) between me and our then facilitator which ended with the words “Who are you?” in response to my question [and the answer was a daunting “no one”]. It didn’t take long for us to click, and the fact that we had so many similar character traits, both good and bad, served as an added bonus to it all.
What is your favourite thing about this friendship?
This was difficult to answer as I have to pick just one out of infinity. However, one thing this friendship has definitely provided is the space to be oneself. I’ve grown rather reserved over the years and this friendship is one of the very spaces where I do not have to overthink my words, my actions nor question my place in your life. In your own way, you’ve assured me of my worth in your life and that’s something I’ll always appreciate.
What is your least favourite thing about this friendship?
We both suck at communicating when life has become a shit storm. Tell each other about it and vent over it… sure we do, but that is normally a week or 2 after we’ve went through the most. We honestly both don’t know how to communicate in the moment as it hits the fan.
[edit: another thing that sucks. We do not have enough photo’s together, and we think the reason for that is we prefer creating art to being art. So we are always the ones behind the camera instead of in front of it. The joys and woes of being creatives – a beautiful loss]
In what ways does this friendship align with your life/goals/mission?
If there is one thing we definitely do really well… hype the living daylights out of one another!! You encourage me ever so often and know when to deliver tough love whenever I allow my fears to blind side me (thank you). Also, it’s good to know I can always count on your raw, unfiltered, often sarcastic honesty even when I dont think I want to hear it.
In what ways does this friendship lack?
To be honest with you, this friendship has exceeded my expectations in so many ways. I’d literally have to nitpick for me to say there’s areas that are lacking
Tell me one thing you believe I do not know about you.
2015: I fell into depression during my gap year after having taken L after L after L in late 2014. Never really told anyone about it as the shame from it all had me by the neck. You played a key role in helping me manage it and get back on my feet again. I repeat: You are a hype man of note! but you’re also a very wise and effortlessly hilarious part of my support system.
It honestly is not lost on me how blessed I am to have such beautiful friendships. To have people who hype me up with the fervor of Beyoncé fans, but also critique me, with love, when I go sideways, it truly is a most glorious gift, one which I continuously thank God for. My friend is a poet, a lyricist and a writer; he just recently re-entered the youtube space and does spoken word podcasts. Check out his stuff here.